Hi everyone and happy new year! I am single again and am enjoying it, for now.
I had 2 boyfriends and there were a few similarities... their names started with "J" and were cheap, but in different ways. Boyfriend #1 was just cheap in general. He kept the "Entertainment Book" on his dashboard. Yes, you read correctly... on his dashboard!! When we went out, he would consult his book. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. Boyfriend #2 was cheap in a different way. I lost my job in the end of June, and we were dating for 1 month. He got angry that he had to pay for everything. He failed to realize the man usually pays AND that I have limited income because of no job.
This afternoon, something important about love "dawned on" me. Singles should not search for love. Before you tear your hair out, let me explain. How do we know, for certain, who is right for us? Each of us has guidelines about what we consider important in a partner and that's good. But we may accept someone who meets some of our guidelines, but not all. All of us deserve someone who fits all our guidelines! When you stop looking, it's a guarantee the right person for you will come along.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Friends first!!
My brother is inspiration for this entry. He is sad lately because he does not have a girlfriend. He says he wants a girlfriend, not a "female friend".
I've talked with him about this and I even gave him my relationship story, but I'm not sure if he actually listened to his sister. (You who have siblings can relate!)
As I mentioned in an earlier blog, my most recent relationship lasted 3 months. It really was a "wake-up" relationship. I learned SO much about relationships from just 3 months!
From our very first date, we started dating exclusively. We met on May 24.
My grandfather's 85th birthday was on August 1. I took him to my grandfather's birthday. He met my ENTIRE dad's side of the family. I only knew a few basic things about him: his name, birthday, where he lived, all his brother's names, and where he worked. There's more and it gets better! After a mere 2 months, he told me "I love you". Because I didn't know him, I did not say it. Shoot, I wasn't even sure if I liked him!
I learned that you MUST be friends with someone before any romance starts. If you get "hot and heavy" early on in the relationship, it will end just as quickly.
Being friends with someone first is great because there is no pressure. You do not have to act like somone you're not. You can be yourself and the other person can be themself. If you BOTH have feelings for each other, then you can make the jump to boyfriend/girlfriend status. If one has feelings but the other does not, stay friends! Friendship is not a bad thing; everyone needs friends.
I've talked with him about this and I even gave him my relationship story, but I'm not sure if he actually listened to his sister. (You who have siblings can relate!)
As I mentioned in an earlier blog, my most recent relationship lasted 3 months. It really was a "wake-up" relationship. I learned SO much about relationships from just 3 months!
From our very first date, we started dating exclusively. We met on May 24.
My grandfather's 85th birthday was on August 1. I took him to my grandfather's birthday. He met my ENTIRE dad's side of the family. I only knew a few basic things about him: his name, birthday, where he lived, all his brother's names, and where he worked. There's more and it gets better! After a mere 2 months, he told me "I love you". Because I didn't know him, I did not say it. Shoot, I wasn't even sure if I liked him!
I learned that you MUST be friends with someone before any romance starts. If you get "hot and heavy" early on in the relationship, it will end just as quickly.
Being friends with someone first is great because there is no pressure. You do not have to act like somone you're not. You can be yourself and the other person can be themself. If you BOTH have feelings for each other, then you can make the jump to boyfriend/girlfriend status. If one has feelings but the other does not, stay friends! Friendship is not a bad thing; everyone needs friends.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Knowledge is power!!
Hi all. Again, this entry will be off topic but is important.
Right now, I am listening to a very interesting podcast. One of my friends practices a different religion from me. I am learning a lot from her podcast.
Even though it is a religion different from mine, I am learning a lot.
I am seeing many similarities between the two religions. I think people need to expand their knowledge. Knowledge in religion and in life. It expands your knowledge into other people's lives. I'm going to repeat myself, but I feel it's very important... Knowledge is power. Knowledge expands your knowledge of the world. You see how others see the world. You don't have to agree with them, or go with their views. Just knowing where they came from is important. And when you learn new things, you MAY see some similarities.
The topic I'm listening to is my friend telling her family & friends her religion.
Her experiences are interesting!
Until next time, expand your knowledge.
Right now, I am listening to a very interesting podcast. One of my friends practices a different religion from me. I am learning a lot from her podcast.
Even though it is a religion different from mine, I am learning a lot.
I am seeing many similarities between the two religions. I think people need to expand their knowledge. Knowledge in religion and in life. It expands your knowledge into other people's lives. I'm going to repeat myself, but I feel it's very important... Knowledge is power. Knowledge expands your knowledge of the world. You see how others see the world. You don't have to agree with them, or go with their views. Just knowing where they came from is important. And when you learn new things, you MAY see some similarities.
The topic I'm listening to is my friend telling her family & friends her religion.
Her experiences are interesting!
Until next time, expand your knowledge.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
A very important relationship issue
Hi everyone. This entry will be a bit off topic again...
I have been reading the Bible lately. I am finding it VERY helpful to my life.
Right now I am reading a few remaining books in New Testament.
On Nov 2, I read Titus. It is short but gives you a lot to think about. A few lines talk about a key issue in relationships: trust.
"But avoid stupid arguments, long list of ancestors, quarrels, and fights about the Law. They are useless and worthless. Give at least two warnings to those who cause divisions, and then have nothing to do with them. You know that such people are corrupt, and their sins prove that they are wrong". (Titus 3:9-11)
When you are aware somone did something wrong, tell them. You bring it to their attention, when you tell them. If they forget, remind them a second time.
After you tell them, twice, they may realize that they did something wrong.
The key here is change and trust. If they apologize, you may want to continue the friendship/relationship... if you think they will change. If they do not apologize, and you don't think they will change, end the friendship/relationship. This may be hard to do, but it all boils down to trust. If trust gone, there is no friendship or relationship.
Do not automatically end the friendship/relationship based on one mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. If the person makes the same mistake twice, that's when you have to think. Do you think the other person will make the same mistake again?
And trust must be considered... Do you still trust the other person?
What do you think?
I have been reading the Bible lately. I am finding it VERY helpful to my life.
Right now I am reading a few remaining books in New Testament.
On Nov 2, I read Titus. It is short but gives you a lot to think about. A few lines talk about a key issue in relationships: trust.
"But avoid stupid arguments, long list of ancestors, quarrels, and fights about the Law. They are useless and worthless. Give at least two warnings to those who cause divisions, and then have nothing to do with them. You know that such people are corrupt, and their sins prove that they are wrong". (Titus 3:9-11)
When you are aware somone did something wrong, tell them. You bring it to their attention, when you tell them. If they forget, remind them a second time.
After you tell them, twice, they may realize that they did something wrong.
The key here is change and trust. If they apologize, you may want to continue the friendship/relationship... if you think they will change. If they do not apologize, and you don't think they will change, end the friendship/relationship. This may be hard to do, but it all boils down to trust. If trust gone, there is no friendship or relationship.
Do not automatically end the friendship/relationship based on one mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. If the person makes the same mistake twice, that's when you have to think. Do you think the other person will make the same mistake again?
And trust must be considered... Do you still trust the other person?
What do you think?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Praying DOES work!
This entry is going to be a bit off topic, but that is why blogging is so fun!
How many of you have ever doubted prayer? Come on, I know you're out there!
I, myself, was one of them. As shocked as some of you may be, I was indeed doubtful of the power of prayer. I remember praying VERY hard for a boyfriend. I didn't ask for anything else, just a boyfriend. No boyfriend appeared and I was about to give up hope until June 23. God did bring me a boyfriend but it was NOT what I expected! The boyfriend lasted about 3 months. Yes, only 3 months! (I named him "my summer dud".) That lesson taught me to be more specific when I pray. Single women out there, don't just pray "bring me a boyfriend". No, no, no! Be specific, or you may end up like me and my "summer dud".
Hope you all go out and enjoy the fall weather before the snow starts to fly!
How many of you have ever doubted prayer? Come on, I know you're out there!
I, myself, was one of them. As shocked as some of you may be, I was indeed doubtful of the power of prayer. I remember praying VERY hard for a boyfriend. I didn't ask for anything else, just a boyfriend. No boyfriend appeared and I was about to give up hope until June 23. God did bring me a boyfriend but it was NOT what I expected! The boyfriend lasted about 3 months. Yes, only 3 months! (I named him "my summer dud".) That lesson taught me to be more specific when I pray. Single women out there, don't just pray "bring me a boyfriend". No, no, no! Be specific, or you may end up like me and my "summer dud".
Hope you all go out and enjoy the fall weather before the snow starts to fly!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Waiting is hard to do!!
Hi all. I know, I know. It's been some time since I last posted something but I haven't had much inspiration lately.
Today's blog will be about waiting. Waiting is very hard for most of us, myself included. Most people want things not later, now. Waiting is very important, both in romantic relationships and in life. Waiting builds character and we begin to appreciate things more. Sometimes we take things for granted, when it's been with us for awhile. Waiting makes us feel uncomfortable. Why? It makes us realize we are NOT in control. What happens after we wait, we have no control over. How we dislike not being in control!
Here's an example of what I mean, from my life. I have been unemployed for 3 months. I appreciate the things I could not do when I worked, such as creative writing. I'm discovering new things about myself I did not know before. I make jewelry now; necklaces, earrings, braclets, bookmarks. Being unemployed has also made me realize it's not in my control; I was not the one who caused my unemployment. From this unemployment, I'm growing closer to God.
Call on your higher power, whenever you are uncomfortable about waiting. I can guarantee you will feel better!
Today's blog will be about waiting. Waiting is very hard for most of us, myself included. Most people want things not later, now. Waiting is very important, both in romantic relationships and in life. Waiting builds character and we begin to appreciate things more. Sometimes we take things for granted, when it's been with us for awhile. Waiting makes us feel uncomfortable. Why? It makes us realize we are NOT in control. What happens after we wait, we have no control over. How we dislike not being in control!
Here's an example of what I mean, from my life. I have been unemployed for 3 months. I appreciate the things I could not do when I worked, such as creative writing. I'm discovering new things about myself I did not know before. I make jewelry now; necklaces, earrings, braclets, bookmarks. Being unemployed has also made me realize it's not in my control; I was not the one who caused my unemployment. From this unemployment, I'm growing closer to God.
Call on your higher power, whenever you are uncomfortable about waiting. I can guarantee you will feel better!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Public displays of affection
Hi everyone. The inspiration behind this post was from one of my ex boyfriends.
I was thinking about this the other day. How come Europeans are ok with public displays of affection, but most Americans are uncomfortable?? In Italy, for example, it's not so unusual to see two people kissing outside. They can be seen kissing in the square or in a restaurant.
My ex-boyfriend and I used to kiss all the time in public. I was not uncomfortable with it at all. I was very happy he felt so comfortable with me that he wanted to kiss me in public!!! The kissing wasn't anything heavy; just a short peck on the cheek. I just loved the reactions we would get!! Everything from a stern frown: "ew, not in my store".... to a huge grin: "aw, that's so cute"... to jealousy: "I wish MY boyfriend would do that to me". It goes without saying that I liked the huge grin reaction the most. From the list, the most common reaction was a stern frown: "ew... not in my store". I just do not understand why people are uncomfortable with it!!! If you like or love someone, why not??
What are YOUR opinions?
I was thinking about this the other day. How come Europeans are ok with public displays of affection, but most Americans are uncomfortable?? In Italy, for example, it's not so unusual to see two people kissing outside. They can be seen kissing in the square or in a restaurant.
My ex-boyfriend and I used to kiss all the time in public. I was not uncomfortable with it at all. I was very happy he felt so comfortable with me that he wanted to kiss me in public!!! The kissing wasn't anything heavy; just a short peck on the cheek. I just loved the reactions we would get!! Everything from a stern frown: "ew, not in my store".... to a huge grin: "aw, that's so cute"... to jealousy: "I wish MY boyfriend would do that to me". It goes without saying that I liked the huge grin reaction the most. From the list, the most common reaction was a stern frown: "ew... not in my store". I just do not understand why people are uncomfortable with it!!! If you like or love someone, why not??
What are YOUR opinions?
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